You Know You’re Old When…

English: Legs muscles

English: Legs muscles (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You know you’re old when…

You ask somebody their age and most are half yours.

You get hurt at night and are glad that it will keep you out of something active the next day.

You get a headache from working out too much instead of pulling something.

When you do pull something it’s an entire body part, not just a muscle…for example, “I pulled my leg muscles (yes, all of them!).”

Ice is more critical than sex to you.

Everyone in your family avoids you when you come home from a workout because they know all you are going to do is complain.

At your gym YOU are now the guy who won’t shut up about stories from the old days.

 

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Mourinho To Chelsea

Português: O treinador de futebol português Jo...

Português: O treinador de futebol português José Mourinho. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Tribalfootball.com is reporting that Jose Mourinho has signed a deal worth an approximately $425,000 A WEEK with Chelsea. Geez, how much money do you need to get out of bed in the morning and coach football for two hours a day? And it’s not like you’re telling Frank Lampard how to lock his ankle and keep his head down while he’s hitting a shot.

More power to Mourinho for rising up from basically obscurity to becoming one of the highest paid managers that the game has ever seen. I’ve heard from people who have met him that he’s very nice guy and he knows how to win (when he has quality players). Will he bring the magic back to Stamford Bridge?

Yes, I think he will. All they ever did was win all their games 1-0 when he worked under Roman the first time. Hopetully, this time those types of results are good enough. They are certainly good enough for me!

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Hangover…Hangover and Reyna in NYC

The third and supposedly “final” installment of the hangover movies is out today in theatres and I’m guessing that it can’t be worse than the second one, but nothing will ever beat the original. I’m also guessing it won’t be the last Hangover movie. You’re telling me  when times are tough financially in 40 years for all the actors they won’t be setting The Hangover at Sun City West in Surprise, Arizona? You can almost bet on it.

I’ll go see it, but not this weekend. And yes, like many of you…my favorite character is Mr. Chow.

Big news coming out of NYC as the new Major League Soccer franchise New York City Football Club signed Claudio Reyna to be its Director of Football. He leaves the most prestigious position nobody cares about as US Soccer Technical Director. The cool thing about Reyna is that he’s an east coast guy and played at Manchester City. He will do good things at NYCFC and it must also be nice for him that they have very, very deep pockets. You can say good-bye to MLS’ tight salary structure. How do you put limits on an ownership group that simply doesn’t have any financial limits?

You don’t. Even if you’re not a soccer fan, the story in New York will surely fascinate you as they inch closer to their MLS debut in 2015. Imagine Jay-Z and Beyoncé at games. Jerry Seinfeld? Kelly Ripa? They will all be there, because unlike the New York Red Bulls who are Jersey based, I have feeling that NYCFC will be based in NYC and will have a presence so large that it will make us old-timers forget that the Cosmos were ever even here.

Everybody likes free stuff right? Sure you do!

I’m offering my newly released funny ebook about relationships for FREE starting today all through the holiday weekend. My wife hasn’t even read it yet!

 

 

Categories: soccer, football, books, sports, entertainment, youth sports | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Paris Hilton vs Me

Paris Hilton at the 2008 Sundance Film Festiva...

Paris Hilton at the 2008 Sundance Film Festival, in Utah, United States. Português: Paris Hilton no Festival Sundance de Cinema 2008, em Utah, Estados Unidos. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Paris Hilton don’t have nothing on me. She might have the recording contract now…but I will soon have one if I keep this up. This is the latest from my new track, writer-inspired. Peace…

I’m a writer-

I’m a writer-

I put words down on paper to excite yer-

When I’m in my office and I’m all alone-

I stop what I’m doing-

Cuz I think I heard a drone-

I’m a writer-

I’m a writer-

I put words down on paper to excite yer-

 

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Giving Thanks

Credit cards Français : Cartes de crédit Itali...

Credit cards Français : Cartes de crédit Italiano: Carte di credito Русский: Банковские карты Tiếng Việt: Thẻ tín dụng 中文: 信用卡 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Thanks for…

For beaches and banana splits

camping trips and loud stadiums

cold mornings and late sunsets

hot coffee and great conversations

fast cars and smart women

vacations and credit cards

family and friends

pets and friendly neighbors

fish tacos

waffles

espressos

salami sandwiches

laughter

soft pillows

warm blankets

wild but safe dreams…

 

 

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The Best Scene in Movies…Ever!

Jon Favreau at the Austin, TX premiere of I Lo...

Jon Favreau at the Austin, TX premiere of I Love You, Man (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In the movie Swingers when Jon Favreau‘s character Mikey comes home with his first phone number and is supposed to wait two days, but he can’t resist and calls her numerous times, even freaking out on her answering machine. It’s so painful to watch, yet so real. Would love to see Favreau cast some rookies in a sequel to it.

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This Ain’t No Discount…It’s FREE!

I’m already celebrating the holiday weekend by making my ebook My Heart Attack FREE through Thursday!

 

 

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Live from Rome!

Français : Monica Bellucci

Français : Monica Bellucci (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Well, almost. Keep checking back because sometime very soon I will be posting from Roma! Stay tuned for plenty of pictures, maybe even some video of me trying to speak Italian with beautiful waitresses (oops, did I say that out loud?) who look like Monica Bellucci.

Ciao Bella!

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Instagram Incompetence.

My family and I were at dinner a few minutes ago and I had my son take a picture of my wife and I to post on Instagram. He took it and then made it a black & white photo. When I saw it in black & white I was like “how did you do that?” And he showed me all the different filters that Instagram OBVIOUSLY has but I hadn’t found…yet.

I was only using the five that show up at the bottom of my phone without ever scrolling sideways and seeing the other 20 or so filters I have never even used yet. I swear I’m not this stupid. It must be the hot weather or old age or an almost lethal dose of both!

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Trying to Cheer Myself Up

 

 

 

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